{"id":412,"date":"2009-04-15T03:00:51","date_gmt":"2009-04-15T03:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/?p=412"},"modified":"2009-04-15T03:02:33","modified_gmt":"2009-04-15T03:02:33","slug":"cocaine-to-be-used-in-schools-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/?p=412","title":{"rendered":"Cocaine to be used in schools"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"width: 478px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"Cocaine\" src=\"http:\/\/www.canpages.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/image-of-cocaine.jpg\" alt=\"Cocaine is one hell of a drug\" width=\"468\" height=\"326\" \/><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cocaine is one hell of a drug<\/p><\/div>\n<p>A new government initiative is being launched, which aims to decrease school children&#8217;s contact with dangerous drug dealers, improve attendance and increase productivity.\u00a0 The main idea behind this initiative, lead by Gordon Brown, is to replace free milk for children with free crack.\u00a0 This is likely a more popular idea than that of Margaret Thatcher, who abolished free milk in schools.\u00a0 Instead of &#8220;milk snatcher&#8221;, Gordon Brown is to be known for &#8220;spreading the crack around&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>It is thought that the main reason for this highly creative directional change on the part of the government is to get children off the streets between the hours of 8:30 and 3:30.\u00a0 It is expected that absence from schools will decrease as the well known addictive properties of the drug take hold.\u00a0 Studies have also shown that productivity in schools is likely to increase as a cause of the drug.\u00a0 Unfortunately productivity may be followed by depression, so part of the governments budget for the initiative is to be spent on a small army of counsellors and psychiatrists.\u00a0 This move has been welcomed by counsellors and psychiatrists.<\/p>\n<p>It is not yet known wether the drug will also be rationed to teachers, some of whom are reported to spend as much as half their saleries on such drugs in order ease the pressures of dealing with dilinquant teenagers.\u00a0 A spokesman from the National Union of Teachers (apprpriatedly abbreviated to NUT) has gone on record saying that strikes may follow if such teacher hand outs are not given.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A new government initiative is being launched, which aims to decrease school childrens contact with dangerous drug dealers<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1083],"tags":[1827,1826,27,1377,1376,1375,1833],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=412"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":415,"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412\/revisions\/415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crackuser.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}